Forever and Always

He stared down at me with kind and thoughtful eyes. They were eyes that could see right through me, and eyes that have seen their fair share of struggle and heartache. An infinite shade of green with flecks of gold, they spoke to me without using any words. Those eyes understood me in ways nobody else ever could. And while I was thrilled at the prospect of someone knowing me that intimately, I was scared out of my fucking mind.

He gently runs his hand across my forehead, pushing a stray piece of hair that had fallen across my face. He continued to watch me, his eyes brimming with unasked questions. Questions I knew that would be hard to say, but needed to be said. I am his mystery to be solved, his puzzle to finish. No matter what I said or did though, his patience was endless. As he continued to caress my face, I could see all judgements flying out the window. He saw me, the real me in the most rawest forms.

How did I, the ever so plain Jane that I was, get so damn lucky in life? How did he stop his crazy world and have time to look at me? Would he get bored? Would he find someone new? I couldn’t help but feel like this was going to end just as quick as it began.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked me, the questions finally starting to surface.

“What makes you think I’m thinking about anything,” I said back, a little too quickly. He was making me nervous in ways I wasn’t used to. It was as if he could see into my mind and knew that I was full of doubt.

“Well, you do this thing where your eyebrows furrow together when you’re thinking too hard about something. I know when you’re over-analyzing every little thing and I know when you’re thinking way too much.”

“Oh really,” I shot back, this time purposely furrowing my brow in his direction, making my face look older and angry. Now that was furrowing my brow. He just laughed softly, pinching my cheek as if I were some cutesy child.

Instead of responding to me, he kept looking at me, silent. His passive demeanour would probably scare most people into thinking he didn’t care, but I knew differently. He cared too much, in my opinion. Instead of jumping in feet first, he tumbled head over heels into murky waters. If I was a regular girl and he was a regular guy, this relationship, or whatever you would call it, wouldn’t be normal. One or both of us would realize that it’s going way too fast and way too quickly that it would soon send us spiraling out of control.

He took a breath and paused as if he were about to say what was on his mind, but instead closed his mouth and looked away. Now it was my turn to wonder what exactly was on his mind. He was definitely a person of little words, but he was also one to speak his mind when necessary.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked cautiously. The look in his overwhelmingly beautiful eyes went from being full of curiosity to being full of doubt.

“Well,” he said in his soft and usually assuring voice, “I’m worried.”

“Hey, that’s usually my job,” I joked, half kidding.

But in that moment, it was then I realized why I was worrying so much. It wasn’t because I was so unsure of what was going on between us, it was because I didn’t want to lose what we had. I’ve always been cautious when it came to my heart, but right in this moment, I knew it was his.

“Where do you see this going?” He gestured between him and me, “This? Us?”

“What? Why are you asking such a question?”

“There’s no doubt there’s fire between us; earth shattering, World Series feelings between us. But…Sometimes I think…”

“Sometimes you think what? That we’re crazy? That everyone around is right and we’re falling too hard, too fast? Because if that’s the case, I do think we’re crazy.”

“So you don’t believe this will last,” he said, visibly deflating right in front of me. It was as if all the hope he just had for us being together just vanished into thin air. My heart was breaking, but I continued on.

“I didn’t say that.”

“But –”

“No. Let me finish,” I said, pressing my index finger gently on his lips – the ones I wish I could be devouring right this moment. I wanted to kiss away the frown planted on his perfect face and assure him everything was going to be alright, because everything was going to be alright.

“I think –,” I said, pausing once again to purposely burrow my brow gently into the side of his face. “That as crazy as it seems, I believe you and I are the real deal. We’re in the fifth game of the World Series, the bases are loaded and a grand slam hit is about to reach the edge of the stadium. You and I? We’re in this together. That’s what I think.”

The space between us disappeared as he inched his face close to mine. Nose to nose those beautiful green eyes were now back to being full of hope and ideas for the future – our future. His face broke out into a smile so big and so bright it was almost blinding in the best of ways.

“So you mean –”

“You’re stuck with me forever and always, baby.”

Words were lost as he closed the distance between our lips. Soft and warm, he slowly pushed me back, laying me down gently. Crawling over top of me, his hands began to roam and his lips began the exploration of my body. My soul was exposed and available for him to take completely.

“Forever and always,” he whispered.

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